


Open Mouth, Insert Foot

by Deans_Fetish



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-19
Updated: 2010-10-19
Packaged: 2018-09-03 18:26:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8725480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deans_Fetish/pseuds/Deans_Fetish
Summary: Misha gets drunk and very loose lipped.





	

The lights were low in the rustic bar where the five guys from the hit TV show Supernatural all sat getting plastered, talking and joking together. Misha was working on his twelfth beer with Jack chasers that he and Matt, Mark Sheppard, Chad and Richard had started on a little over an hour and a half ago. Jared and Jensen were supposed to be joining them soon, though no one was totally sure Jensen would make it back from L.A. in time since he’d flown back to see his wife. 

Richard had just made a crude joke and the group of them were laughing loudly a couple of them, Misha being one, nearly falling drunkenly from his chair as they laughed. They recounted every female that had ever been on the show, rating them as to how fine their tits and asses were laughing about a few that they’d caught glimpses of in the dressing room trailers. Misha held up a hand during his fit of drunken laughter, tears streaking down his face. 

“I got one, I got one,” he wheezed through his laughter. “Two nights ago,” he mumbled drunkenly before clearing his throat and sitting a little taller, “Castiel had himself a piece a Dean’s little homeboy,” he announced proudly, snickering afterward. He waved a dismissive hand, “Or over grown homeboy, whatever.” 

“Bloody hell, you did not,” Mark scoffed, reaching for his glass of bourbon. 

Misha nodded proudly, “Would I lie to you?”

“YES!” was the resounding call of all the men at the table with Misha. 

Misha scoffed, “He was bellyaching about how Jen no longer had time for him with the new wife,” he shrugged a shoulder, “and yours truly was there as the little angel on his shoulder,” he snickered, “or on his ass,” he smirked, “whatever.” 

Matt sat forward in his chair, “So, tell us…”

Mark rolled his eyes, “Oh bloody ‘ell, I’m gonna need more booze ta get through this one,” he muttered, waving over one of the waitresses. 

“Another round for all of us, please,” he instructed, nodding to the others as he looked up at the dark haired waitress. 

“Coming right up,” she said with a nod before turning to head for the bar.

Mark glanced at Misha before returning his attention to the waitress, “Hurry please!” He called to her, his eyes lowering back to Misha and narrowing slightly. 

“If I’m gonna have to hear about you in the sack, I want to be properly pissed,” he informed a grinning Misha. 

Chad laughed and shook his head, “I should be sickened and I know it, but I think I’m too drunk to care, I wanna hear,” he snickered, waving a hand toward Misha, “Spill.” 

Richard laughed and shook his head, “Unbelievable,” he snickered and nodded, “Yeah, Misha, come on, let us have it.” 

Misha snickered again and nearly toppled over in his chair with he tried to scrunch down in it comfortably. 

“Okay, so there I was, walking into Jared’s trailer,” he began only to be cut off by Richard. 

“What were you doing in Jared’s trailer?”

Misha frowned, “Contemplating the meaning of the universe,” he mumbled, frowning, “Does it matter?”

Chad shrugged, “Well, kinda…”

Misha sighed, “I was making sure he wasn’t out doin’ some fuckin’ thing or another to my car.” 

He huffed and shook his head, “So there we were just talkin’ and Jared looks kinda,” he shrugged, “Sam like…” 

“Brooding and stupid?” Richard offered helpfully.

Chad snickered. 

Misha shrugged, “Something like that, I guess.” 

Mark sighed in relief as the waitress brought over more drinks, quickly knocking back a shot of whiskey before reaching for his glass of bourbon, “Go on,” he encouraged. 

“Okay,” Misha agrees, “So, like a good angel,” he says with a lopsided grin, “I ask him what’s wrong and this is where I hear about Jen and how much Jared misses him and all that.”

“Yeah, did you guys hear about the time Jen supposedly said when he was drunk that he and Jared compared dicks?” Chad piped up. 

All eyes turned to Chad, “I heard Jen said that Jared was big… and getting bigger,” he informed with a shrug. 

Everyone looked back at Misha for confirmation and Misha snickered as he nodded.

“I now know why he kept asking me about the size of mine, that’s for sure,” Misha agreed. 

Mark made a pained sound and rolled his eyes before knocking back his bourbon. 

“So anyway,” Misha continued, “after I get through with the consoling and the talking and all that, cause we’ve moved to the couch, I kinda lean in and kiss him…”

“You kissed him?” Chad asked sounding surprised. 

Richard laughed, “He had his dick in his ass, I don’t think a kiss is out of the question.” 

“Oh bloody ‘ell,” Mark muttered then hiccupped. 

Matt narrowed his eyes as he looked at Misha.

“What?” Misha asked. 

Matt shook his head, “Nothin’, just trying to see it.”

“Oh good God, why do ya want ta see it?” Mark asked, “s’bad enough hearin’ about it!” 

He looked back at Misha, “Go on,” Mark encouraged once more with a nod. 

Richard chuckled, “For a guy who doesn’t want to see or hear it, you sure keep tellin’ him to ‘go on’,” he commented. 

Mark shrugged, “Maybe a bit’o Crowley’s wearin’ off on me,” he offered, flashing a smile before it fell away and he rolled his eyes, throwing back another shot of whiskey. 

The others laughed and Misha waited to speak again until his laughter as well as the others had died away. 

“So we’re just kissing at first,” he smirked, “And Jared’s moaning… a lot,” he snickered. 

Chad nodded, “He seems like a moaner.”

All eyes swung to Chad who shrugged, “Just sayin’…”

Slowly they all returned their attention to Misha. 

“Well, as we’re kissing, we both get a little handsy,” Misha continued. 

“Oh god,” Mark groaned, “you manhandling the moose, now _why_ does that thought make me throw up a little in my mouth?”

“Uh, cause it’s two guys?” Chad offered.

Mark shook his head, “No, no…” he muttered thoughtfully before pinning Misha with a deadly look, “Because it’s YOU!”

Misha cracked up laughing, head thrown back, his chair nearly toppling over backward with him in it until he managed to grab the edge of the table and stop himself. 

As Misha and the others laughter died down, he drew in a deep breath and exhaled, clearing his throat. 

“Now, where was I?” Misha asked. 

“You had your tongue down Jared’s throat and your hands all over him,” Richard supplied helpfully before he took a drink of his beer. 

Misha smirked as he looked over at Richard, “Right, right,” he nodded. He sighed softly as he stared at the wooden table. 

“I’d cupped his face as we kissed, but now one of them has moved down, sliding his shirt up his body, my hand sliding against his bare skin… and again, he’s moaning, his arms were around me, but now he’s yanking off Castiel’s trench…”

“Wait,” Richard interrupted, “you had your trench on?”

Misha shrugged a shoulder, “We’d just finished for the night, I hadn’t changed yet.”

Richard laughed, “Oh wow, my baby brother’s growin’ up, Cas got him some!” He exclaimed, clapping his hands together as he laughed. 

Matt shook his head, faking a look of tearfulness, “My how they grow up fast…” 

Misha scowled at them both, “Suck my dick,” he grumbled. 

Richard’s eyes widened, “Oh no, no, that’s Sammy’s job,” he managed to get out before he laughed even harder. 

Misha sighed and rolled his eyes before lifting a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger, eyes squeezed tightly closed as he realized rolling his eyes as drunk as he was, was not a good idea. 

He sighed as he pulled his hand away and blinked open his eyes. 

“Do you want to hear this or not?” Misha asked. 

“Keep going,” Chad said with a nod. 

Matt and Richard coughed and cleared their throats, stifling their laughter as they nodded, “Go ahead, we’re listening.”

Mark shook his head at the lot of them, “And this is why I play a demon, a lot less hanky panky than you fly boys,” he muttered with a nod. 

All eyes slowly moved to Mark before they all burst out laughing causing Mark to shrug a shoulder, snickering along with them. 

“Eh, I tried,” he muttered, lifting his glass of bourbon to his lips, taking a drink. 

Misha sighed, “Alright, to make a long story short,” he began. 

“Too late,” Mark piped in, frowning at him. 

Misha glared at Mark before tearing his gaze away to look at the others. 

“After we end up undressing each other on the couch…” Misha started only to be cut off once again by Richard as he held up a hand. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, where’d the trench coat go?” Richard asked. 

Misha blinked at him and shrugged, “I dunno… the floor maybe. Why?”

“Dude, do you _not_ read the Internet? Fangirls have a kink for the trench,” Richard explained. 

“Oh well, next time I’m about to put my dick in my co-stars ass, I’ll be sure to log onto the net first and see what the latest fad is,” Misha quipped. 

“I think I’m gonna be bloody ill,” Mark mumbled. 

Chad reached over and patted Mark on the back as he snickered softly. 

Misha sighed, “Jared’s layin’ back on the sofa and I’m on top of him,” he continued. 

“S’my boy,” Richard snickered softly. 

Matt elbowed him, “Shhh,” 

“And were grinding against each other, ya know, cocks sliding together,” Misha explained, “and holy shit Jared isn’t lying about sweating, you think it’s bad on set, holy hell,” he muttered shaking his head. 

Chad snickered, Richard quirked a brow, Matt’s eyebrows rose and Mark scoffed, shaking his head. 

“It was like being on the slip and slide,” Misha continued, “a really hot slip ‘n slide,” he grinned.

“We’re kissing, my head sliding side to side as I ravage his mouth… Jared’s a good kisser,” he nodded, “and we’re both just running our hands everywhere we can reach on each other,” he said, shaking his head, his eyes slightly wide as he stared at the table, remembering. 

“It was kinda funny cause we both got so hot for it and I of course didn’t have any lube, but Jared did,” he grinned and looked up at the others, “top drawer of the end table he’s got in there.”

“Porn,” Richard muttered, nodding. 

Chad shook his head, “Jensen.” 

The others snickered and nodded, “Probably,” was the consensus around the table. 

“So I got one arm bent, my forearm holding me up, hand bunched in his hair, the other that I’d been using to roll his nipple between my fingers with I had to move to slick us up and then guide my dick to his tight little…”

“Enough!” Mark called out, “Skip the part about his tight little hole, I’m definitely not pissed enough ta hear about you and Jared’s tight little pucker.” 

Misha snickered and nodded, “Okay, okay,” he agreed. 

“I guide my dick inside him and I’m pushin’ in and holy fuck,” Misha nodded, “those fan girls are right, the boy has a neck that just…” he sighed, “he’s got his head arched back and that neck out there and fuck me,” he smirked and shrugged, “I gave him a hickey.” 

Chad snickered, “Dude, Jensen’s gonna have your ass for that.”

Misha shrugged a shoulder, “S’not my fault, it couldn’t be helped.”

“He was askin’ for it,” Matt supplied, brows raised, a smirk pulling at his lips. 

Misha nodded, a smirk pulling at his lips, “Was askin’ for more than that too actually,” he muttered with a wink. 

Richard sat forward, eyes wide, “No way!”

Misha nodded, smiling proudly, “Oooh yeah,” he drawled cheekily.

Matt snickered, “Misha you sly dog,” he teased. 

Misha let out a drunken howl that had them all laughing. 

“Yes, Mish, harder Mish, oh you feel so good…” Misha mimicked in a panted voice filled with want causing the others to laugh drunkenly.

“Seriously?” Chad asked through his laughter.

Misha nodded, tears streaming down his face as he laughed, “Definitely,” he confirmed, “and Jensen calls _me_ a whore…” 

*** *** *** ***

Jared had walked into the bar a couple minutes earlier and stopped to talk to one of the girls just inside who had recognized him from the show and posed for a picture with her, smiling wide making his dimples show for the camera before he let his arm fall from around her and nodded his thanks for her compliments and for being a fan. 

He was just starting toward the back where Misha had told him he and the others would be waiting for him and Jensen, though Jensen had texted him, _**Sorry, can’t make it. Thinking of you. See you Monday. Take care, J**_. 

He’d been disappointed hoping to see Jensen tonight but instead of sitting home in his new condo brooding about it, he’d opted to go out with the others, kick back and have a good time. He heard a howled voice that sounded a lot like Misha and the idea that they were all already that drunk brought a grin to his lips as he rounded the corner only to hear Misha’s panted words. 

Jared’s smile slid from his face, his eyes widening, lips parted with shock. He stumbled forward toward the table though his brain screamed at his legs to turn around and walk away but for some reason the message wasn’t quite making it through. He stopped a couple steps from the table just in time to hear Misha’s crack about his being a whore. 

Everyone laughed for a moment until they realized he was standing there, then you could have heard a pin drop as they all stared up at him. 

“Jared, s’not what it sounded like,” Chad offered as he drunkenly stood to his feet, though he had to hold onto Mark’s shoulder once he was standing in order to not fall back down on his ass. 

Jared’s eyes fell to Misha’s blood shot blue ones as he shook his head in disbelief, taking a staggered step backward away from them all. 

Misha stood to his feet, staggered and nearly fell, would have had Richard not jumped up and caught him. 

Jared turned and headed back the way he’d come, “Jared, wait! Jared!” Misha called after him, staggered forward a couple steps and ended up falling into Richard’s arms, “Jared, we didn’t mean it!!!” Misha yelled. 

His answer was the slamming of the front door of the bar as Jared stormed out.


End file.
